I threw away my confidence, not once, but on a number of occasions. I let someone else convince me I was wrong, or didn’t have enough information to make the decision I was about to make. It was all about posturing, and to some degree intimidation. After all, I was female, and too compassionate, too easy, too old-fashioned, too unwilling to change for some. The decisions being made were monumental for the people who would have to carry them out.
There were meetings to discuss the issues, the options, and the outcomes. The group was divided in their support. Some were angry or hostile; some were supportive and helpful; some were tight-lipped and unwilling to take a stand. I threw away my confidence, and withdrew.
If I had taken the time to look at the past, there were decisions of this magnitude that I facilitated well. My confidence had been there and intact. This time, I threw away my confidence, and perhaps let some very good people down.